Current Issues in MY Life.

Ok, so I'll just say that my upcoming IELTS test is the most important issues in my life. ARGGGHHH..!!! I only have a month to prepare it, yet still don't know how should I prepare for it. Errr... Actually, still too lazy to work on it. But yeah, this test will determine my future so I think I have to start and be serious. Wish me luck, please..... 7.0 will be possible, right?? OHH...YEAHHH...!!!!

Second! It's still about my teenage life, you know lha... Mostly about 'friendship', 'love life', and uni stuffs. Sigh~ I hope that someday I can get rid of these problems from my life.

Okay, so let's just break them down. First, it's about friend. I find it really-really-really-rreeeaaalllyyyy hard to find a friend whom you can trust. Seriously. So in conclusion, you CANNOT trust anyone. Telling them some of your secrets are okay, but don't give them your 'biggest' secret. Never feed them with confidential thing. 'Coz it will be the same as using a very big speaker to tell people about your secrets. It's very irritating, right. So then, this problem's getting bigger and bigger day by day. Just in my opinion, though. For example is, how should you present yourself in front of others? Should you be 100% honest, or 100% fake? Realistically, you can't be half and half. Okay, let me tell you about my experience few years ago, when I was still in my high school.

When I was in my high school, I was quite an active person (in terms of school's activities) so I did know a lot of people. However, I was pretty shy at that time, so I just know most of them without being closer with everyone that I know. Those people, always think that I'm a very friendly and patient person. I never get angry, always smile and say positive things. Even when I become the editor in chief of my school's magazine, I can't even be angry to my XXXX teams!!!

It was very different, compared to nowadays when never 'pretend' to be someone nice. I say what I think most of the time; PLUS, I will show them a 'not-so-good face' when I dislike something.

So, relating to my short story above, which one will you choose? Realizing that there are pros and cons in any decisions that you'll make. When you keep on pretending to be a nice person, everyone will "LOVE" you, even though your heart won't feel good. It hurts, especially when you have to keep it in your heart without letting anyone knows about it. And at some point, maybe you'll reach your limit, when all your pains accumulated and ready to explode. BOOMM!!!

On the other hand, when you stop pretending to be nice.. some will love you, most will "HATE" you. If you're not ready to be hated by people, you'll experience a lot of difficult times you know.. However, deep down inside your heart, there won't be any anger or grudge are kept. You'll feel more peaceful when you are honest to yourself. :) It's a personal satisfaction, I think. Hihihihi..

Personally, I'm learning to be true to myself. I want to tell the world, "TAKE ME AS I AM or WATCH ME AS I GO!" I doesn't mean to be offensive or selfish or arrogant by learning to behave this way. It's just... yeah,.. Sometimes you have to value yourself more, right? 'Coz most people in this world doesn't deserve your kindness. So yeah, experience will teach you a lot of things, they will teach you how to grow up and be mature, how to deal with good and bad people, and the most important is how to be yourself. ^___^

The next little bits, are "love life" and "uni stuffs". I can't say a lot about my 'love-life' since it will be too private to be talked. I just hope that I can have more courage, more spirit, and more confidence in pursuing my love. Nowadays, there are too many princessES in this world, so yeah... I suppose that a princess can't just sitting quietly waiting for her prince to come. She has to go out there and compete with other princesses, in order to be together with the prince.

Lastly, uni stuffs.. Can I just scream? AAARRGHHHHH....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love,

Mayayam